Patriotism

Its hard to agree with anything that Peter Costello says, but this week he finally said something that made sense to me.

Finally Made Sense
picture from
www.americanaustralian.org

He is calling for tougher citizenship rules and anybody not taking there pledge seriously to have there citizenship revoked. He claimed you could go to citizenship ceremonies anywhere around the country and you would get the feeling that the pledge was just a necessary formality.

I am not a racist but i think that for too long Australia has thrown open its doors to everybody, we have accepted many different cultures into our country and then changed our ways to accomodate them, we do away with nativity scenes so as not to upset those who dont celebrate christmas, some schools dont even put up christmas trees.

Yes lets let everybody into Australia lets share this beautiful country of ours with whoever wants to share it, but lets not change what we have, lets not sacrifice our culture and history to keep others happy.

Try getting into the US or the UK for anything other than a 2 year visa, go to France and see if they will change there ways and there culture for you, good luck getting a sausage off the barbecue at a cafe in France. They wont even know what your asking for cause if your not speaking French you wont get the time of day.

As for those clowns at the University of Queensland selling the flag burning kits, even if you are born and bred Australians you should be shipped off, You dont deserve to live in our country TRAITORS

We should all honour the flag, the flag millions of our soldiers have fought and died under, Perhaps there is a good case that the Aboriginal flag should have been incorporated into the Australian flag. I feel that we cannot change the flag, it is something that we have had for over 100 years now we must keep it as it is, we could fly both flags togethor, side by side something that ALL AUSTRALIANS regardless of skin colour can be proud to salute and honour.

Australian Flags
pictures from www.warbooks.com www.aaia.com.au

Be Proud To Be Australian!

Payback

CONGRATULATIONS
GLENORCHY CRICKET CLUB

Sunday 26th of February marked a historical day for cricket in Tasmania,
For the first time a club won back to back Kookaburra cups,
The Kookaburra cup is the first grade, one day - knock out cup.

Clarence won the toss and elected bat, and the game was over right there.
Clarence were reduced to all out for 65 in 32.5 overs, Kelby Pickering doing the early damage with the first 3 wickets, Matthew Shelton taking 4 wickets and Brett Geeves picking up 2.

In Reply the Magpies knocked over the 65 in 9.2 overs, some lusty hitting early from Dane Anderson and Luke Butterworth at the end of the innings, ensured the roos never stood a chance.

The Magpies helped by players (past and current) family and friends celebrated will into the night.

The victory especially rich to some of the past players such as myself who would remember many a hiding at the hands of Clarence, The current players with plenty of inspiration as well, the last time the clubs met Duncan Hurd decided to refer to Glenorchy as being nothing but Scum and a few other choice words I would not mention here, the problem for Mr Hurd was it was within earshot of Glenorchy players, not very smart!

To those at Clarence who think there so bloody good this next line is directed to you

Hows it feel to be beaten......NO...NO.. THRASHED by scum?

Aint payback a bitch?

KFC

accordionguy.blogware.com


If you asked KFC what food providing category they come under im sure there answer would be a “fast food restaurant”.

I have a few problems with this answer,

1. There not fast, actually terribly slow
2. I wouldn’t call the stuff they wrap up and give to you food
3. A restaurant to me should include a waiter and some table service.

About 6 months ago, on a Saturday night I had a few mates around for a few beers, about 7 o’clock we decided that we were hungry, “okay lads what are we going to eat?” I received a few replies, one of pizza, one of my hairy arse (thanks foxy) and somebody piped up with lets go down the colonel.

So off we went (My lovely GF driving as I don’t want a DUI) down to the Colonel, (Derwent Park store) the drive thru line is out to the street and there doesn’t seem to be many cars in the car park so we decide to go inside.

We go in and stand in line, I look over at the other boys we are all in line about 3 back. I think not too bad, should take roughly 3 minutes to serve each person might be waiting here 7-8 minutes, if it was Maccas we would be waiting about 2 minutes they are always quicker.

Turns out the women at the front of the Q has ordered the clog your arteries pack (usually 20 pieces, 3 chips, a dessert, strips, nuggets, potato & Gravy, coleslaw, corn, pepsi). Its taking forever for the young female attendant to get it all together although im sure shes finding it harder to do staring at the ceiling and talking to her friends who all seem to be standing there in a huddle together, obviously coming up with the next play.

I over hear the attendant say "sorry madam we are out of corn", she decides to take an extra small tub of potato and gravy as a trade off, look at the watch 7 minutes so far.

Next person steps forward and asks for a clog your artery pack as well, ohh no I cringe I picked the family meal line. Here we go again. After 8 more minutes of team huddle and ceiling staring she finally has a couple of bags on the counter and says to the women "ohh sorry madam we are out of 1.25 litre mountain dew will pepsi be okay?" Begrudgingly she says "yes" and leaves.

Time check been waiting 15 minutes, By this time im about ready to leave, better stick it out, god im hungry.

A young couple step up to the counter order a couple of meals, sensational I think not long to go now. 8 minutes later its ready, surprisingly they have everything though this time the wait is for chips, I would have thought that at 7 oclock on a Saturday night that chips being cooked would be a fundamental part of the KFC policy and procedure guidelines. apparently not!

23 minutes gone I step to the counter, can I have a kids nugget meal (for my little fella) a zinger combo (for me) and a twister combo (for the GF) extra salt on all chips thanks.

Dopey goes to work she gets all the chips together, no extra salt until I politely remind her, she sighs goes back puts the extra salt on, I stand there as the twister and the zinger slide down the chute, she watches them, I can see her eyes she is staring at them, she ignores them, keeps standing there, all I need is for her to lift her arm, push them into the bag with the chips get me a couple of drinks and im gone, but no that would be too easy. The huddle is back in place, I watch the clock I don’t take my eyes off it, 3 minutes have elapsed since my food was put into the burger slot……now 4 minutes has gone, finally her hand goes for the food, into the bag it goes and she turns back to the counter with it “what drinks would you like sir?” ”ill have two pepsi max’s and an oj for the kids meal” “sure” she says and disappears, im thinking the fridge is there behind you.

2 minutes later she comes back “sorry we don’t have any OJ left would you like water?” “no I don’t want water i can get that from the tap at home, ill take a can of pepsi” so off she goes and comes back, can of pepsi in hand, “oh sorry sir I forgot we don’t have any toys for the kids meal either.”

That’s it Ive finally snapped, ive been standing in line for over 30 minutes, ive heard them say sorry we don’t have it to at least 4 products.

“Listen to me I say, you will up grade those kids meal chips and you will put extra nuggets in that box” she starts to open her mouth “and before you open your mouth ive stood here for over 30 minutes and heard you say you don’t have any corn, you don’t have any 1.25lt mountain dew, you don’t have any oj, you don’t have any kids toys, you didn’t have chips cooked and its 730 on a Saturday night, what sort of a fast food place is this?”

My chips were upsized, extra nuggets in the box, I turn to leave, food in hand, every single person in line raises there hands and applauds, I walked out receiving pats on the back and loud words of appraise (none I could repeat here)

I got home and dispersed the food, sat down and bit into my burger, it was the driest non edible rubbish id ever attempted to eat, the chicken was rock hard as was the bun, I opened it up and the lettuce was brown, at least I have my chips ………wrong,
nothing but a soggy mess with no salt even though I made her put more on.
My young fella nailed the nuggets and his chips so at least that was something, the GF didn’t eat much of hers as her twister was garbage as well as my mates meals.


Dried rubbish
picture from kfc.com

So all in all from the time I stepped inside to the time I stepped out it took about 35 minutes, I paid something like 26 dollars for a bag of food I fed to my spaniel and I didn’t get a toy for the young fella. I could have phone ordered 2 large pizzas and had them delivered whilst standing in the line, it would have been cheaper as well.


The colonel has a lot to answer for
picture from freemasonry.bcy.ca

We swore and vowed never to eat KFC again, we did however about a month ago call back in to get a quick burger meal on a week night about 830, nothing had changed, this time I waited 15 minutes and the food was still rubbish.

KFC isn’t fast or real food.

Junior

Junior
picture from www.aus.cricinfo.com

My little brother after pulling a spectacular catch out of his bum on the weekend decided he would start a media slanging match with his big brother. http://www.cricket.com.au/_content/audio/00002090-source.mp3

He went on the record as saying that hes never taken such a spectacular catch before but his brother has in under age (very very true)
He also went onto say that I havent stopped letting him know about it since (not true)

It is true as a youngster playing on a postage stamp oval in Glenorchy I chased a skied ball, running back with the flight, putting my own safety second to the good of the team, dived full stretch forward and whilst parallel to the ground held onto it in my finger tips.

Everybody there that day would still no doubt be searching channel nine memorabillia sites hoping for a framed shot of this amazing effort.

But seeing as though channel nine cameras being at a TCA (Tasmanian Cricket Association) Under 18's match is about as likely as Eddie Maguire calling a member of another team by name during a collingwood Friday nighter I feel there 9 year long wait for this remarkable keepsake maybe futile.

How can my younger brother even claim that his catch is even on par? Lettleown better than mine?

I may not have photographical proof like he does, but surely my accurate description and my word alone is enough?

That catch, and the after party

pictures from getty images

As for his claims that I havent stopped telling him about it I find these claims astounding, yeah it may have come up once or twice but that is all, many a backyard classic catch has come and gone that prompted some reminiscing (like the time I scrambled over the outdoor setting got collected by the shed, kept my feet and dived about 15 feet through the closeline to hang onto a one hander off the house).

So junior next time you take a swipe at the fielding master in the media be prepared for the consequences, ill tell the whole world (the 3 people who look at my blog) exactly how it is.

The Real Fielding Master
picture from members.tripod.com

On a serious note the catch JNR took was a blinder (although not as good as my efforts), I received calls and txt from mates all day wanting to talk about it and to tell me how astounded they were, in the same game he took another simpler catch (although it was very high and in the sun) and threw the stumps down from the boundary to effect a run out, he also bowled 6 overs and took 2 for 24 he was dubbed by the channel nine commentary team the superdoober sub.



Our whole family is proud of his feats and hopefully one day he will don a baggy green.

picture from www.leski.com.au


Never admit defeat!

Murali

picture from www.smh.com.au


Matthiah Muralitharan claims he may never return to Australia,

What a sad day,

I can see why Murali might be getting a bit sick of the no ball cry everytime he runs in but at the end of the day Murali you just have to soak it up and get on with it.

Murali is a good bloke, he was first on the scene during the tsunami disaster and was first with his hand up for benefit matches, he had his blonde Aussie spinmate 5 paces behind him all the way.

This is exactly what you wanna see from your sporting heroes, that they will put there communities and there countries ahead of themselves.

Murali could have just said stuff it think ill hole up in some hotel in paris for a few months while sri lanka gets sorted out. But he didn’t.

So to the thousands who cry no ball everytime Murali approaches the wicket and sends one down wether it be bowled, chucked or launched out of a bowling machine I say let him be.

Murali to you I say soak it up, take it in your stride, at the end of the day a few drunks on the hill don’t reflect what respect you really have and truly deserve.


picture from www.jmg.net.au/ images/bellerive5.jpg

Dear Mr Boucher

The Australian cricket team has arrived in South Africa about to embark on yet another international tour clouded in controversy,

Calls from Mark Boucher for the South African crowds to be deliberately racist and give the Aussies a hard time, Andre Nel wanting doctored wickets to tame Warnie and help the fast bowlers that South Africa rely on, Graeme Smith being well ………..being Graeme Smith, a guy who thinks he is the man yet 60% of South Africans would like to see him dumped as skipper - hes gobbing off saying he hopes we wont complain about the crowds.

What a pack of cry babies,



Why does Andre Nel want the pitch doctored?? Is it to tame Warnie or is it just that he bowls rubbish and needs every advantage to get a pole he can?

Why does Mark Boucher want the Aussies to have a hard time? So the pressure and the media might be off him and he might just glove a straight forward chance for once.

Why does Smith hope we dont complain? Probably because he knows full well that everywhere you go around the world opposing teams get hell from the crowd, if Australia dont complain then apprently it doesnt exist, Meaning the deal his pack of under 15's netball team got in Australia was a harsh one, when in reality it was no different from any other team touring any other year.

Australia would be quite within there rights to whinge about every single comment that flew over the fence, South Africa did.

The problem with South Africa stems from plain old jealousy, They arent as good as Australia they are scared they cant beat us, so they wanna make it look like they had such a hard time in Australia that everybody back home feels sorry for them and will forgive them for mediocrisy. Even Hansie Cronje would be ashamed of the current pack of sooks representing South Africa.

Who cares if somebody called you a kaffa lover? You can call me an Abo lover to the cows come home it isnt going to faze me, and anyway how does Andre Nel know that the fan wasnt simply calling him a jaffa lover? Everybody loves Allens Jaffa's.



Have the South Africans not heard of the old saying sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me? Come on boys grow up and be big brave men, I know its hard but you have to try and suck it up.

I would have thought that being a professional athlete or sportsmen that this comes with the territory, you should learn to live with it, how do you think a tennis player on Rod Laver arena (Melbourne Park Victoria Australia) playing against Molik, Stosur, Hewitt or any of the other Aussies for that matter feels? Do you think they wanna cry because everytime they net a return the crowd applauds?? Everytime they toss a ball in the air to serve and let it drop cause it was a bad toss the crowd boo's them, do they walk off court and never come back calling for the fans in there home town to abuse everybody next time there is a tournie there? NO! they suck it up, they laugh and get on with it.

South Africa can threaten us with "we will boycott Australia" that isnt a threat, we are kinda hoping it is a promise, we didn’t miss you during apartheid anyway, we will be more than happy to just play the west indies, the kiwis and the poms. At least we know every time we do play that no matter what banter takes place before a series that the spirit of cricket will prevail on the field and the beers shared in the rooms after the game stem from a genuine respect of each other.

so
Dear Mr Boucher Will you please SHUT UP!

Big Nights

Well it has finally happened, the thing I was dreading the most.

I have realised I cannot drink.

I went to a mates housewarming party on Saturday night (http://funnyatthetime.blogspot.com/) and the shots came out.
Now I'm getting on a bit, I recently turned 27, but for some reason up until Saturday night I thought I was still 18 when it came to alcohol.

About 1030pm shots of Jagermeister, Sambucca, Baileys, Schnapps, and all sorts of rubbish were being consumed like they were water.
The fellas are knocking back round after round, these are all big lads, 21 at the oldest and all standing 6'4 plus.

I think no sweat I can go with them and I start putting shots away on top of the ridiculous amount of Canadian club I've already consumed.......Duh!

I wake up at 1245pm the next day in the spare bed and for the first 20 seconds wonder where the hell I am, get up go looking for the missus, find her showered, dressed and well into her day, she's down in the bedroom, "hey" I mumble as I collapse on the bed looking for sympathy "let me tell you, you were a total shit last night" is her reply, ............no sympathy there.

Turns out I made her drive all over the neighbourhood when we got home from the party and basically refused to go inside and go to bed where I needed to be, I don't remember a thing between "were going" and waking up at 1245pm the next day apart from hugging the porcelain and sleeping on the toilet floor most of the night.

Sick as a dog is a saying that was made up just for this occasion.

Thats it, from now on its stuff the shots, ill leave that up to the youngens from now on, ill stick to a few beers and maybe even at the risk of having my sexuality questioned a few sky blue vodkas.



This old man learnt a valuable lesson on Saturday night!